How do you know your relationship is in trouble?

While no relationship is perfect and couples can expect to have their fair share of conflicts, however, it’s how you resolve conflicts that matter. Some relationship arguments cannot be resolved because some of the disagreements are rooted in fundamental differences of lifestyle, personality, or values – it might be better to learn how to live with these differences by honouring and respecting each other. Generally, conflict can be resolved if you understand the core issue that is causing the conflict between you and your partner. If issues are not resolved properly, they become insurmountable and resentment can build up over time. 

Here are some warning signs signalling your relationship is in trouble. If you recognise two or three of these symptoms present in your relationship, then it is time to seek couple counselling.

Arguments Do Not Get Resolved

Most couples have issues that can be resolved or compromise can be made over time as their relationship develops, but when key issues are not resolved and they keep re-surfacing then your relationship will struggle.

Feel Like You're Walking On Eggshells Around Sensitive Issues

When you feel the need to avoid conflicts and protect yourself from further arguments, this signals a lack of safety in your relationship.

You Are Unable To Reach Out To Your Partner For Support

A romantic relationship without emotional engagement will be drained of any vitality. If you are unable to show your emotional vulnerability to your partner then it is a clear sign your relationship is at risk.

Arguments Include Criticism, Defensiveness, and Contempt

If one or both of you engage in character attacks, mind-reading, insults, name-calling, or criticism, the emotional security of your relationship will be injured.

When You or Your Partners No Longer Depend On One Another.

When you no longer share vulnerability and lean on one another for support, your closeness and the importance of your relationship is lost.

There May Have Been Anger And Frustration In The Past, But Now There Is Just Apathy.

When you become detached from your relationship, you will tell yourself… “it’s too hard, I don’t care anymore… I give up!”

Trusting Your Partner Is Too Hard, So You Try To Control Circumstances Instead.

Controlling actions is a common way for partners to respond when trust is lost or they are fearful, but it undermines efforts to rebuild trust.

Fear Of Criticism Prevents You From Sharing Personal Thoughts And Feelings.

When you withdraw from your partner because you feel insecure and/or fear a lack of care or concern on the part of your partner. The impact of your withdrawal can seriously threaten a relationship by depriving it of life energy in the long term.