14 Tips to Promote Relationship Success

  1. Work toward calming your emotions and try to think clearly and objectively.
  2. Speak and act more constructively.
  3. Take responsibility for expressing appropriate emotional needs instead of insisting on some pre-determined behaviour of your partner, i.e. “I missed you” rather than the expectation of “you must be here for me”.
  4. Don’t be a victim of another person’s emotional state. Avoid taking on their anxiety.
  5. Happiness comes from within you. Your happiness shouldn’t be dependent on another person.
  6. Observe your pattern of behaviour and make changes without expectations from the other person, i.e. be less needy or less critical.
  7. Remember to look for reasons behind the anxiety of others so you can be less reactive and able to manage yourself better around them.
  8. You don’t have to take on the emotions of the people around you. You have a choice.
  9. It is not important to be loved, liked, approved of, accepted or nurtured by everyone.
  10. Focus on “you” at least 51% of the time so that you can manage your emotional needs in and out of relationships without being critical of yourself or blaming anyone else.
  11. Make important relationship decisions calmly and thoughtfully, this will stand the test of time better than making decisions based on impulsive feelings.
  12. Stop worrying too much about the past, as it is often damaging to relationships. You can’t rewrite history.
  13. Focus on the future.
  14. Stop seeking or expecting others to nurture you like how you want to be nurtured by your parents.